Today, in the midst of our morning chaos, I started to cry. Feeling overwhelmed by life, I took a moment to breathe and before I knew it, I was sitting on the stairs, my head in my hands, my body quivering as I tried to contain the tears.
I know it's cliche but as a mom I'm used to feeling like I'm fraying at the edges, but the last few weeks have left me feeling like I'm ripping apart at the seams.
Everything started when I took an intense week long course that had me studying until 1 am every night and commuting 45 minutes in each direction.
Then I spent 3 days at the hospital when 4 year old Bolt slipped off the top of a little tykes play centre at daycare and broke his elbow, fractured both bones in his forearm and needed surgery, pins and wires to put everything back together.
I spent another day at the hospital when Bolt started showing signs of infection with a 40 degree fever, which ultimately required removal of his cast for careful examination prior to recasting and a round of heavy duty antibiotics.
At the same time, in addition to feeling neglected, 2 year old Simba has also had a flu complete with a fever and diarrhea.
And since both boys have been sick, they only want their momma and sharing her isn't an option.
And forget the pile waiting for me on my desk when I finally got back to work.
I'm already feeling stretched so thin and today's fun includes dragging Bolt back to the hospital to have blood work and confirm his infection has cleared up. I can see the fight already; what kid likes a 'poke'?
When asked how I was doing at work this week, I answered simply, good-ish. My friend laughed and told
me she was going to steal the phrase because her life is in the midst of different, but equally draining, turmoil.
But it begs the question, when does good-ish become not good enough?