Monday, January 31, 2011

I am Not Alone

This week, Theta Mom wrote a great post entitled, You are Not Alone and I found myself nodding along with each and every point made, even though only one section refers to my reality.  The post was a gentle reminder about the struggles of motherhood that we all go through, every day, in some way or another.  It reminded me that each moment of frustration, no matter how small is valid and that its unlikely I am the first, or the last to experience the flood of emotion that ensues.

Unfortunately, despite all of this, I had a bit of a meltdown this weekend.  I'm the mediator in my family, so I generally pride myself on keeping things in control.  But, after the peanut incident last week the boy has been clingy and cranky to say the least and its been taking its toll on me.  He's not been eating much, he's been crying much more than usual and he's having trouble going and staying asleep, which of course means this pregnant Momma's not sleeping all that well either.

Saturday morning the boy had swimming lessons, so we had our breakfast, got geared up and went to the pool for our 8:30am lesson.  The boy walked up to his waist in the water, walked out and asked to go home, this was of course around the time that the class (and the screaming) started.  After 10 minutes of wailing, we left.  As I drove, the tears started streaming down my face and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

I was frustrated, upset and mad at the boy.  Of course this quickly translated into being both mad at myself and overcome with guilt that I would put all of my hormonal emotions onto my 22 month old son.

After a few hours away and a little quality time with my Momma, I remembered.

I am Not Alone.
It's ok to be frustrated.
It's ok to cry.
It's ok to ask for help.
It's ok to need time for myself.
It's ok to be mad.
...and most importantly, I am Not Alone.

To all the Momma's out there that are struggling today, You are Not Alone, either.