Thursday, August 12, 2010

Memories 10: Grade 8 / Age 13

Grade 8 was a memorable year for me, not only did I start a new school, I started a new 'motivated students' program and almost more importantly I learned some very important lessons about boys, life and lying.

In some ways I've always been social.  I find it easy to engage in conversation and am rarely intimidated by other people.  But as a young girl, boys were any exception to the norm.  When confronted with a cute boy, I would suddenly become painfully shy and lose all my sparkle and charisma.  I had no idea how to interact, where to look, what to say, even a friendly smile became difficult when it came to boys.

My gym class was a split grade 8/9 class and right from the beginning, I had a crush on Matt.  He was tall and shy with shaggy brown hair.  We never really talked and I'm not really sure how he knew I was interested or how he got my number, but somehow he did.  And he called.

We went out on two 'dates', the first time we went ice skating, his Mom picked us up and drove us there (this was as awkward as you might have expected).  We chatted, talked and had a good time, though I'm pretty sure we didn't hold hands.  We were both incredibly nervous and although I had hung out with boys while camping in the summer, it was my first real date and I suspect it may have been his too.

The second time we went to a movie at the mall.  Before the movie we were strolling around the mall and while in HMV I ran into one of my Mom's good friends.  I told her I was at the mall with my girl friend, Joanne - I didn't think she could see Matt and figured there was nothing to worry about.  I obviously couldn't tell her the truth, I hadn't told my Mom I was going out with a boy.

I'm pretty sure the movie was "The Ghost and The Darkness"and although I'm sure I enjoyed myself, I don't remember much.  What I do remember is that when I got home, my Mom fully busted me for lying.  She explained that I was old enough to go out with boys, but that I needed to tell her.  She explained the burden of carrying around lies and that eventually all will be revealed and end up far more hurtful than if the truth had been told in the first place.

From that day forward I stopped lying.  I do lie by omission, but rarely (if ever) say something that is not true.  Do Not Lie is grade 8 lesson number one.  Number two has a little bit more to do with asserting yourself and putting yourself out there.

Although we had been on two dates, Matt and I still never spoke at school.  Not in the halls, not in gym class, not anywhere.  We were both so shy.  On Valentines day however, our entire class had a half hour detention and when I finally made my way to my locker, Matt was waiting with a card.  I just about melted and truly thought that meant that our 'relationship' was changing.

He called me that weekend and wanted to go out, but I had to turn him down.  It was Chinese New Year and I had a family dinner.  He asked if I could go out after and I told him that it often went to 9 or 10pm and I wouldn't be allowed to go out after that.

He thought I was brushing him off and never called again.  I never called him, though I had the number.  I was heartbroken, but never did a thing about it.  The worst part is, he was probably heartbroken too.

Grade 8, Lesson number 2: Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and express yourself.  The worst thing that will happen is that you won't have something you already don't have.

This is post 10/15 and is part of Mommy's Piggy Tales
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1 comment:

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